Carpool Karaoke Therapy

May 27, 2018

One thing you’ll learn about me is that I enjoy music…all types of music.

I’ve been known to sing/hum/bop along to all types of songs from old folk songs to gangsta rap, though I’m not a very good singer at all!  In fact, most of the times, I can’t remember the actual lyrics, but do know the melodies by heart, which I’ve always found strange.  My wife, Chantel, is just the opposite…she’ll know the words to every song on the radio, but doesn’t know how the instrumentals go…

Normally, in the course of my commute home, I would spend the hour or so of the drive talking on the phone with Chantel about the day’s events and typically what frustrated us that day with either co-workers or our own kids.  My therapist knew that a lot of my anxiety and frustration stemmed from events at work, so she had been giving me a few things to try out, one of which I’m calling “Carpool Karaoke Therapy.”

She knows that I have a hard time “leaving work at work” as I’m sure much of you out there reading/watching do as well…so she asked me what I typically do while I’m driving home.  I told her about the conversations I have with Chantel during the drive and she suggested a couple things:  1) Don’t call Chantel on the way home and 2) Crank up the radio and sing.

I initially laughed it off, because like I said before, I’m not a good singer but she said that I wouldn’t be performing in front of anyone anyway (well at least not until the video accompanying this post gets posted)…

She said the process is that I get frustrated while at work..I drive home and talk to Chantel and re-live the frustrations…and then never really “decompress” from the stress which makes the environment at home by the time I get there, a culmination of frustration. 

Instead of re-living the frustrations of the day, the drive home will now be a decompression time and by the time I get home, I can still talk about the events of the day, but my mindset will be changed and everything will be much better.

So I tried it out.

One of my favorite genres of music is grunge/alternative from the 90’s.  I remember being in college and there were certain songs which bring back lots of memories…whether they were heard at pep rallies, or at parties, or just screwing around in my dorm room.  Most of these songs were grunge/alternative and one of the popular radio stations we’d listen to was 99.1 WHFS out of Washington DC.  They had the annual WHF-estival where, at the time, some lesser known bands would go to play, and would eventually make a name for themselves.  I never got a chance to go to a WHF-estival, but kind of regretting it now, especially now that 99.1 in DC now plays Tejano music, which is quite a bit different from their original programming.  I did manage to find a Facebook group (I Miss WHFS) which relives the old days though.

Anyway, grunge/alternative was introduced to me by one of my roommates, Andy.  He had an eclectic taste in music as well, and broke me out of my hip-hop/R&B rut and would drive our other roommate, Terry, totally insane.

A few years ago, I found the Lithium channel on Sirius/XM and matched almost exactly what we’d listen to on WHFS.  So whenever I’d get the chance, while I drove around with the kids, I’d tune it in to Lithium and give the kids a taste of some good old grunge…which I think played a major part in my 2nd son, Jonah, joining a bunch of buddies as the lead singer of their band, Charade.  <——Check them out here!

A good reason for me to listen along to Lithium was that I didn’t necessarily need to know the words or even carry a tune to sing along.  And nothing was “auto-tuned” so it helped that I could just yell along to whatever song was playing.  I felt a little like a fool the first couple times I would sign while driving, but found a totally different reason why it would help too….breathing!

I had told my therapist that there would be times where I would feel like I hadn’t taken a deep breath in hours…just breathing shallowly throughout the day and increasing my anxiety.  Well, singing kind of requires breathing, so being able to take a nice deep breath before belting out a verse or two of whatever Pearl Jam song was necessary.  So in addition to decompressing me during whatever drive I was driving, it also regulated my breathing which was a double benefit!

So now, I sing along to whatever songs I know…both to just reduce my stress and also to annoy my wife and kids if they happen to be in the car with me.  🙂

I suggest you try it out too…see what kind of music allows you to decompress and helps you relax after a long day of frustration.  What are your favorite songs or types of music to listen to?  Comment below and let’s expand our libraries!  🙂